Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Malori98

Search for a member

Malori98

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 368
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Malori98 : Lots to know

Malori98's page activity

Visits<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 4:04pm

Malori98's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Malori98's badges

Malori98's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40559) - you deserved it (4813)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31493) - you deserved it (6536)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (4717)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32215) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46249) - you deserved it (8134)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50115) - you deserved it (3477)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went out for dinner with some friends to a new restaurant. As I was finishing the soup, I noticed a small curly hair at the bottom of the soup. The chef is bald. FML

#7967999
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (2144)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51007) - you deserved it (17907)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

#2078869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17304) - you deserved it (65797)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: