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MainPrism

Offline (the 10/04/2014 at 3:56am) | Search for a member

MainPrism

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2215
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MainPrism's page activity

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MainPrism's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49559) - you deserved it (8072)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

#20592767
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53088) - you deserved it (10221)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60598) - you deserved it (20242)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43600) - you deserved it (18750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59773) - you deserved it (10740)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52038) - you deserved it (17667)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

#20574572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46199) - you deserved it (3839)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34077) - you deserved it (9902)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32654) - you deserved it (14105)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34394) - you deserved it (6300)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML

#20567711
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36619) - you deserved it (2396)

On 03/31/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36485) - you deserved it (3175)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79817) - you deserved it (8245)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)



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