MainPrism

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Offline (the 06/14/2015 at 5:02am)

MainPrism

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 October 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4810
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MainPrism's page activity

Visits<b>sugoi72</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 5:13pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 6:33pm<b>silverflame1</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:48pm<b>rubez08</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:43pm<b>barreiroj</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 4:12pm<b>ellollama</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 7:20pm<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 7:14pm<b>foxxakush</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 5:06pm<b>bullhand93</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 2:08pm<b>schwaka</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 2:03pm<b>gladlily</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:33pm<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:33pm<b>theinformer</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:27pm<b>TheAsma</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:14pm<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:41am<b>bfsd42</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:23am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:02am

Fucked!<b>sugoi72</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:13pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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MainPrism's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

by twinArmageddon2 / 04/15/2013 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

by NotASize0 / 04/04/2013 at 11:12am / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

by SoClose / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

by nottoosmall / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love

Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

by CoolStoryBro / 03/29/2013 at 4:23am / Work

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy