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MainPrism

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MainPrism

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 October 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1850
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MainPrism's page activity

Visits<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 6:33pm<b>silverflame1</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:48pm<b>rubez08</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:43pm<b>barreiroj</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 4:12pm<b>ellollama</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 7:20pm<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 7:14pm<b>foxxakush</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 5:06pm<b>bullhand93</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 2:08pm<b>schwaka</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 2:03pm<b>gladlily</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:33pm<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:33pm<b>theinformer</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:27pm<b>TheAsma</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:14pm<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:41am<b>bfsd42</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:23am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:02am<b>ItsMeDiegoG</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 8:28am

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MainPrism's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49352) - you deserved it (9242)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56664) - you deserved it (5506)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54449) - you deserved it (5233)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56044) - you deserved it (9299)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38287) - you deserved it (3745)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55950) - you deserved it (11940)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45095) - you deserved it (3483)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54661) - you deserved it (6337)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47903) - you deserved it (2752)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56270) - you deserved it (6667)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

#20767253
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52819) - you deserved it (9427)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by juliearis (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49309) - you deserved it (4621)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45805) - you deserved it (3979)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)



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