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Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10728) - you deserved it (48645)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64824) - you deserved it (10560)
On 03/18/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Jaxter (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461008) - you deserved it (572741)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62181) - you deserved it (3410)
On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7939) - you deserved it (57767)
On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9458) - you deserved it (59957)
On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (407838) - you deserved it (26470)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (7239)
On 02/05/2009 at 6:41am - work - by fml (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (3780)
On 02/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by cplaner (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19998) - you deserved it (1922)
On 01/31/2009 at 12:37am - work - by RogerReady - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I found a deodorant spray underneath the counter of the snack place I work in, so give it a try to see what it smells like. It's currently the high season, and so I have quite a few clients standing in line in front of me, but it seems they'll now have to wait a couple of days for the restaurant to have all the remnants of the CS gas spray cleaned up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3461) - you deserved it (10134)
On 01/11/2009 at 6:14am - work - by Xav_Cad - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14185) - you deserved it (2308)
On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version
Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5701) - you deserved it (19562)
On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version
Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23027) - you deserved it (16973)
On 10/26/2008 at 8:56am - health - by Unknown - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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