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MadManWithABox's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 5:21am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML
by Jaxter / 03/18/2009 at 1:41am / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML
by not-so-young-shortie / 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML
by Noname / 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Work
by jwz / 02/16/2009 at 10:25am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by fml / 02/05/2009 at 6:41am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by cplaner / 02/04/2009 at 7:56am / United States (Maine) / Work
by RogerReady / 01/31/2009 at 12:37am / United States (West Virginia) / Work
Today, I found a deodorant spray underneath the counter of the snack place I work in, so give it a try to see what it smells like. It's currently the high season, and so I have quite a few clients standing in line in front of me, but it seems they'll now have to wait a couple of days for the restaurant to have all the remnants of the CS gas spray cleaned up. FML
by Xav_Cad / 01/11/2009 at 6:14am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Work
Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29.… Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able… Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I…