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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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MLSxxox

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MLSxxox
  • Town/Country : United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 February 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 736
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MLSxxox's favorite FMLs

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

#17918212 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (17849) - you deserved it (2793)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by kemando - Canada (Alberta)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

#17883689 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (2320)

On 10/02/2011 at 1:15am - work - by katt_is_here (woman) - United States (Colorado)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

#17686086 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (17597) - you deserved it (4368)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:23am - health - by pottie69 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (12869) - you deserved it (20605)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (21180) - you deserved it (1446)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (12079) - you deserved it (3158)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML

#6239894 (34)

I agree, your life sucks (5266) - you deserved it (11087)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:09am - intimacy - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

#6061136 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (16348) - you deserved it (5152)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (37169) - you deserved it (4365)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (24208) - you deserved it (5213)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (34981) - you deserved it (98543)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (4939)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

#3791674 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (64061) - you deserved it (2420)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293 (340)

I agree, your life sucks (22272) - you deserved it (54103)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

#1485215 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (81567) - you deserved it (11213)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)