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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 February 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1536
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MLSxxox's page activity

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MLSxxox's favorite FMLs

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27695) - you deserved it (6850)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:23am - health - by pottie69 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19864) - you deserved it (34899)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (2465)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML


I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (4982)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9500) - you deserved it (21877)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:09am - intimacy - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (7426)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49073) - you deserved it (6153)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36668) - you deserved it (7880)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53665) - you deserved it (6840)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33102) - you deserved it (79260)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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