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Lunara's favorite FMLs
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
by AHole / 11/21/2012 at 9:03am / United States (North Dakota) / Transportation
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML
by scaredofcutouts / 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health
by BTM13 / 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by annon / 02/11/2012 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm / Miscellaneous
by jm_track / 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by ColdMN / 02/03/2011 at 12:02pm / United States / Transportation
by brileyyyy / 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML
by progressiveboink / 05/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
- Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was… Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show… Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we…