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LordWeezy

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LordWeezy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1589
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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LordWeezy's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 3:55pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 7:52pm<b>ohgeejosee</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 1:28pm

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LordWeezy's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84929) - you deserved it (8099)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30819) - you deserved it (65615)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

#20694826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47104) - you deserved it (3972)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45461) - you deserved it (9087)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64823) - you deserved it (14306)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56017) - you deserved it (4365)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (39419)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39567) - you deserved it (2990)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41773) - you deserved it (11878)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

#20662901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33959) - you deserved it (18427)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48100) - you deserved it (2779)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51345) - you deserved it (18262)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

#20651461
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60294) - you deserved it (3841)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89858) - you deserved it (5640)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

#20645173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35786) - you deserved it (35194)

On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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