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Loff

Offline (the 08/27/2015 at 7:06am) | Search for a member

Loff

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9468
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

Loff's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Loff's badges

Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (16830)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I decided to start jogging and exercising, so I had a wonderful workout before work. Then I broke my foot at work. Goodbye exercising. FML

#21327143
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (2346)

On 12/30/2014 at 12:24pm - health - by mikki bee - United States (Nevada)

Today, my parents threw a hissy fit calling me ungrateful and disrespectful for wanting to do laundry and clean at home, instead of going out to their friends' house for dinner. They also disconnected the Internet to punish me when they left. I'm 20 and visiting home on a college break. FML

#21326232
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32018) - you deserved it (3001)

On 12/28/2014 at 11:55pm - misc - by justwantedtounpack - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33345) - you deserved it (16611)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41632) - you deserved it (3092)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14662) - you deserved it (35971)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

#21324667
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33067) - you deserved it (5127)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML

Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

#21324456
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34927) - you deserved it (2564)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a Christmas party, a cute girl was making a show of standing under some mistletoe. As I walked over, she quickly moved away in the opposite direction. FML

#21324253
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (3925)

On 12/25/2014 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML

#21324090
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (2377)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad called to say she wasn't allowed to come with me on a three-day trip on New Year's. He waited until Christmas to say it, even though we booked and paid for the trip nearly a month ago. Now he ruined both holidays. FML

#21323987
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (2941)

On 12/25/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by sneeuwbal - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

#21323779
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37765) - you deserved it (15128)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

#21323581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (11134)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:01pm - kids - by Santa (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML



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