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Loff

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Loff

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5876
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

Loff's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Loff's badges

Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML

#21314927
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/10/2014 at 9:05am - misc - by NotAnInLawFamilyMan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32416) - you deserved it (5315)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

#21314000
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31710) - you deserved it (5369)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

#21313942
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25278) - you deserved it (3914)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42341) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35763) - you deserved it (3213)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18930) - you deserved it (38652)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML

#21309681
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (3127)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by Silverfeathery -

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45961) - you deserved it (11871)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

#21308491
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40670) - you deserved it (2567)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (2492)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38902) - you deserved it (2990)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

#21304848
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32710) - you deserved it (2639)

On 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by justinmdent - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31039) - you deserved it (2982)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (7676)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)



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