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Loff

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Loff
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1257
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39498) - you deserved it (7011)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I performed in a rendition of Jesus Christ Superstar at my school. When it came time for my big solo, a whopping two lines, I forgot the words, making for an awkward eight seconds of silence. FML

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32910) - you deserved it (5886)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33847) - you deserved it (2446)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister finished a project about something she hates. Me. FML

#21069691
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (3221)

On 02/23/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by ninaaaa - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (4822)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19754) - you deserved it (35463)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44738) - you deserved it (5142)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML

#21069230
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (18873)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by weak - United States (Ohio)

Today, after being worried for a week because my dog wasn't eating, I paid the vet $120 for her to tell me that my dog doesn't like her dog food. FML

#21069128
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34125) - you deserved it (6888)

On 02/23/2014 at 3:10am - animals - by dsamanthas - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

#21068972
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43357) - you deserved it (4442)

On 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by dontgothere (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40093) - you deserved it (3727)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41055) - you deserved it (6023)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34722) - you deserved it (5827)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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