Loff

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Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 4:57pm)

Loff

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11709
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

Loff's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Loff's badges

Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

by great / 02/28/2015 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

by Like mother like daughter / 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

by xxruby / 02/24/2015 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

by Confused and Disgusted / 02/23/2015 at 6:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

by IngenuityAbsent / 02/22/2015 at 8:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

by all tweened out / 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML

by FunGhoost / 02/20/2015 at 8:35am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2015 at 8:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wasn't really bedridden sick on Valentine's Day. A Super Smash Bros game date with his friends was just more important. FML

by superscript / 02/17/2015 at 10:40pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts / 02/14/2015 at 4:46am / United States (Nevada) / Kids