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Loff

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Loff
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1198
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (6279)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44644) - you deserved it (5867)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34072) - you deserved it (13141)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

#21074975
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (4332)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46261) - you deserved it (4821)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38311) - you deserved it (8501)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML

#21074608
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42564) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41773) - you deserved it (11476)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially "kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML

#21074103
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38272) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/28/2014 at 3:01pm - kids - by HeMayHaveSomeIssues (man) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41451) - you deserved it (8162)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39488) - you deserved it (7010)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I performed in a rendition of Jesus Christ Superstar at my school. When it came time for my big solo, a whopping two lines, I forgot the words, making for an awkward eight seconds of silence. FML

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (5886)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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