Loff

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Offline (the 06/06/2016 at 7:21pm)

Loff

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13838
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

Loff's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Loff's badges

Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 3:42am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2015 at 5:59am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

by Phabia / 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML

by Anunimos / 04/19/2015 at 9:08am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

by Anonymus / 04/18/2015 at 3:01am / Sweden / Kids

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

by assault and imnotracistbuttery / 04/18/2015 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

by rachlette / 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

by drewcaver / 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

by dickhead / 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

by Sarah / 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

by Darbstar101 / 04/08/2015 at 9:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

by Itsbeen8years / 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm / Slovakia (Bratislava) / Health

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

by gooddaydude / 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous