Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Loff

Online | Search for a member

Loff

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4021
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

Loff's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Loff's badges

Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33659) - you deserved it (4976)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41100) - you deserved it (5016)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33417) - you deserved it (4078)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36054) - you deserved it (10993)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (7437)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34217) - you deserved it (12233)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37512) - you deserved it (3046)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38656) - you deserved it (5507)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

#21279849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (3556)

On 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by katsaysner - United States (Maine)

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (4628)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

#21279192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (8119)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by not saying it was whores, but... - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33675) - you deserved it (4895)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (3220)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: