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Loff

Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 9:14am) | Search for a member

Loff

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5044
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

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Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39534) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13707) - you deserved it (33870)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

#21324667
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (5104)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML

Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

#21324456
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34790) - you deserved it (2552)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a Christmas party, a cute girl was making a show of standing under some mistletoe. As I walked over, she quickly moved away in the opposite direction. FML

#21324253
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (3494)

On 12/25/2014 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML

#21324090
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad called to say she wasn't allowed to come with me on a three-day trip on New Year's. He waited until Christmas to say it, even though we booked and paid for the trip nearly a month ago. Now he ruined both holidays. FML

#21323987
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32712) - you deserved it (2752)

On 12/25/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by sneeuwbal - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

#21323779
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33934) - you deserved it (13314)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

#21323581
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (11051)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:01pm - kids - by Santa (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

#21322801
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (2917)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39036) - you deserved it (4351)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29491) - you deserved it (3164)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

#21320813
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31639) - you deserved it (2405)

On 12/20/2014 at 9:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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