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Loff

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Loff

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2313
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

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Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41519) - you deserved it (4544)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (22307)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36821) - you deserved it (4633)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

#21036142
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41208) - you deserved it (5267)

On 01/22/2014 at 2:23pm - misc - by IMSERIOUS - United States (California)

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

#21036028
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48668) - you deserved it (3836)

On 01/22/2014 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

#21035436
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60988) - you deserved it (8678)

On 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm - health - by AnonWife - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

#21035414
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42323) - you deserved it (5690)

On 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50350) - you deserved it (5547)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49952) - you deserved it (9880)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

#21034785
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46175) - you deserved it (5012)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:07am - kids - by sickmom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

#21031747
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48362) - you deserved it (5753)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46355) - you deserved it (6857)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43087) - you deserved it (5043)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML



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