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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7204) - you deserved it (64208)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by faitoh - United Kingdom (Lisburn)
Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34083) - you deserved it (3174)
On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40247) - you deserved it (3013)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26577) - you deserved it (2331)
On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35920) - you deserved it (2196)
On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37355) - you deserved it (5111)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44501) - you deserved it (4244)
On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58041) - you deserved it (2989)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36409) - you deserved it (17854)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51131) - you deserved it (5094)
On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44226) - you deserved it (2632)
On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States
Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44130) - you deserved it (9430)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (5332)
On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22712) - you deserved it (60812)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)
Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37499) - you deserved it (2476)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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