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Loff

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Loff

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4986
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

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Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (6151)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31298) - you deserved it (4555)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (3154)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my parents grounded me because I refused to do my little sister's homework for her. FML

#21337837
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (2084)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:21pm - misc - by MovingOut (man) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you deserved it (14950)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

Today, I tried to manscape with some Nair. Nothing helps the pain. FML

#21337697
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22270) - you deserved it (8730)

On 01/15/2015 at 4:05pm - misc - by NairyAGoodIdea (man) - United States

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML

#21337685
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (14897)

On 01/15/2015 at 3:30pm - animals - by surprise - United States (Mississippi)

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31555) - you deserved it (3405)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31660) - you deserved it (2578)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30056) - you deserved it (9955)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39225) - you deserved it (2450)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she's afraid of my ex-wife. This is the third one in a row to use that very reason. The judge still won't accept my pleas for a restraining order. FML

#21333809
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33113) - you deserved it (2156)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:43am - love - by swimfaned - United States

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
111 comments

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34226) - you deserved it (5114)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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