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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19188) - you deserved it (2078)
On 09/14/2011 at 2:50pm - work - by kareltje (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34225) - you deserved it (4751)
On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina
Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23348) - you deserved it (2822)
On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5435) - you deserved it (48242)
On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)
Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29616) - you deserved it (1889)
On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States
Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29298) - you deserved it (5341)
On 08/12/2011 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Pissedoff777 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36414) - you deserved it (5968)
On 08/09/2011 at 9:48am - work - by Lauren - Australia (South Australia)
Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32726) - you deserved it (2812)
On 08/09/2011 at 3:35am - work - by smurfpoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21636) - you deserved it (13071)
On 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34276) - you deserved it (4135)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45774) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25671) - you deserved it (2098)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18560) - you deserved it (4826)
On 07/29/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by notabeliever - United States (California)
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31049) - you deserved it (8235)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35962) - you deserved it (2701)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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