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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (2553)
On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States
Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (1618)
On 11/01/2011 at 2:29am - health - by DirtyCharmed - United States (Washington)
Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18422) - you deserved it (32087)
On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42382) - you deserved it (2866)
On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42788) - you deserved it (6047)
On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28073) - you deserved it (2778)
On 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that includes the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18153) - you deserved it (1818)
On 09/30/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18104) - you deserved it (1707)
On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I lost my watch at the pool. After giving a detailed description of it at the desk, I was really happy to hear someone had found it and handed it in. Too bad I was too late, because someone had already claimed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17581) - you deserved it (1513)
On 09/30/2011 at 7:10am - misc - by happymum - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12754) - you deserved it (37229)
On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16126) - you deserved it (32357)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (10754)
On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (7249)
On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23201) - you deserved it (3454)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:24am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10577) - you deserved it (22875)
On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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