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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was jogging when a woman ran out of her house and handed me an invitation for a party. What was the invitation for? A weight loss treatment party. Guess the jogging isn't working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17191) - you deserved it (1822)
On 11/27/2011 at 12:30am - health - by jogger (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13678) - you deserved it (8721)
On 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by _Oblivion_ - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (2032)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States
Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9071) - you deserved it (30030)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anon - United States
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38618) - you deserved it (2061)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States
Today, I caught my husband once again looking at half naked pictures of a friend of mine on Facebook. When I asked why he did it, he said "I was checking to see if they were still there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (4054)
On 11/20/2011 at 6:31am - love - by anonymous - United States
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML
I agree, your life sucks (32374) - you deserved it (4356)
On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (437)
On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (5243)
On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20960) - you deserved it (11264)
On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)
Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (2162)
On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33235) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14786) - you deserved it (57447)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11709) - you deserved it (22000)
On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)
Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (7032)
On 11/03/2011 at 6:56am - animals - by Nicole557 (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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