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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (3029)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I submitted my 208th job application in less than a year, and went to my 83rd and 84th interviews, only to be told once again that I'm over-qualified for the first, and under-qualified for the second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (1652)
On 01/31/2012 at 1:45pm - work - by hastobeajoke (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (1824)
On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my wife purposefully eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (2207)
On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (1610)
On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7749) - you deserved it (17141)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:44pm - love - by actor my ass (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11032) - you deserved it (17766)
On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19425) - you deserved it (4386)
On 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm - love - by fuckthepopo (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31211) - you deserved it (1940)
On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed f*ck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21061) - you deserved it (3204)
On 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by soontobedumped (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (34388)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16508) - you deserved it (23933)
On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (3700)
On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by hannaaaahr (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35965) - you deserved it (1897)
On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55350) - you deserved it (2252)
On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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