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Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML
I agree, your life sucks (39867) - you deserved it (11573)
On 07/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Mortified (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37535) - you deserved it (2187)
On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61540) - you deserved it (3609)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84739) - you deserved it (4526)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14087) - you deserved it (46498)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48035) - you deserved it (8300)
On 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by theatreismylife (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48035) - you deserved it (8300)
On 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by theatreismylife (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48035) - you deserved it (8300)
On 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by theatreismylife (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back the only positive comment on the paper was "well I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42947) - you deserved it (3636)
On 04/10/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by Kim (woman) - United States
Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42118) - you deserved it (3290)
On 04/09/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by luh8r (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (51362)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11470) - you deserved it (1742)
On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13373) - you deserved it (1671)
On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5702) - you deserved it (19579)
On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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