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50 favourites
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Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18895) - you deserved it (1380)
On 03/07/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by crimson28 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4400) - you deserved it (34501)
On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4400) - you deserved it (34501)
On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20055) - you deserved it (3289)
On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14801) - you deserved it (4722)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17828) - you deserved it (7311)
On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (1396)
On 12/15/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by allergyface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5925) - you deserved it (22700)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15288) - you deserved it (6887)
On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44701) - you deserved it (2692)
On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7420) - you deserved it (32888)
On 10/16/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by smarty (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40787) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41453) - you deserved it (12284)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40097) - you deserved it (122996)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40946) - you deserved it (337)
On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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