Lia_Mackenzie

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Lia_Mackenzie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 October 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4591
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Lia_Mackenzie : I'm a college graduate with a degree in creative writing. I WILL pick on your bad grammar.
I also have a degree in psychology. I will probably diagnose you with my handy-dandy DSM.
I also enjoy singing karaoke, writing until my hands stop working, and Schaudenfreude. I also enjoy Sigmund Freud (in the sense that I think he was a chauvinistic douchebag), and aspire to be a clinical psychologist.
...
Writing and psychology go hand-in-hand, I promise.

Lia_Mackenzie's page activity

Visits<b>apaton</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:49am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:05am<b>reillyg11</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:32pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:44am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:08pm<b>LittleBastard</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:41pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 1:00am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 1:04am<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:48am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:22pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:23am<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:13pm<b>wellfme</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:49am<b>mandafager</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:40am<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:20pm<b>leekoon</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 1:16am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:17am<b>shellykjelly</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:54am

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:05am

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Lia_Mackenzie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

by Weezylover / 05/26/2009 at 4:24am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

by rawkdinosawr / 05/09/2009 at 11:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2009 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

by ruvru / 04/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

by katzperiod / 03/04/2009 at 11:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

by cynicalcindy / 02/19/2009 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

by ouchmynose / 02/17/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML

by Flubber / 02/07/2009 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work