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Lia_Mackenzie

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Lia_Mackenzie
  • Town/Country : Snow, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 October 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 3751
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Lia_Mackenzie : I'm a college graduate with a degree in creative writing. I WILL pick on your bad grammar.
I also have a degree in psychology. I will probably diagnose you with my handy-dandy DSM.
I also enjoy singing karaoke, writing until my hands stop working, and Schaudenfreude. I also enjoy Sigmund Freud (in the sense that I think he was a chauvinistic douchebag), and aspire to be a clinical psychologist.
...
Writing and psychology go hand-in-hand, I promise.

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Lia_Mackenzie's favorite FMLs

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

#15162100
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12640) - you deserved it (39112)

On 03/01/2011 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43145) - you deserved it (12560)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

#14091459
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (3966)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML

#13132035
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (6041)

On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (6679)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML

#3729416
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50837) - you deserved it (5982)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:04pm - work - by Nick (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

#3723567
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6982) - you deserved it (55358)

On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by iJehx (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

#3669830
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55604) - you deserved it (4444)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41472) - you deserved it (5607)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57484) - you deserved it (30030)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11066) - you deserved it (50359)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

#3288999
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42489) - you deserved it (6796)

On 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by Tonya (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's been a few days since I decided to give this girl I like the silent treatment.I've been writing on/off with her for a few weeks, but decided to stop a bit, to seem mysterious. When I logged on Facebook today, her status was "..is so happy that annoying guy has stopped writing to me!" FML

#3279854
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15558) - you deserved it (53925)

On 06/27/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by jake (man) - Denmark (Frederiksborg)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53146) - you deserved it (6634)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118457) - you deserved it (8672)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan



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