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Lepisma

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

Lepisma

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Austin, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 90
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

About Lepisma : Here are some words for you.

Lepisma's page activity

Visits<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:54pm<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:43pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:19pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:54am<b>GAJones4221</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 6:33pm<b>joco4</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:31am<b>chuka81</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:36am<b>Busco7</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:45pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:18pm<b>CelticKing</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:31pm<b>rodrigun449</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 12:03pm<b>itwasntme14</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 10:34am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 5:21am<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 4:00am<b>draftskink</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:37am

Fucked!<b>joco4</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:32am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:24am

Lepisma's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Lepisma's badges

Lepisma's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat shoved his claw up my nose and got it stuck there. FML

#21523143
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16213) - you deserved it (1477)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:51pm - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

#21519974
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20487) - you deserved it (1977)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:02am - health - by oliver (man) - United States

Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML

#21518877
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16364) - you deserved it (5904)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:47pm - misc - by lookwhereyasittin - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, while I was working replacing a windshield, some jerk off hit my truck. A truck carrying 2 grand in glass. Including the windshield I was about to install. The driver gets out and says, "Sorry man, I had to text my girlfriend." FML

#21517790
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22193) - you deserved it (1058)

On 01/21/2016 at 1:09pm - work - by automotive glass tech - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27321) - you deserved it (12947)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

#21510463
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20561) - you deserved it (1646)

On 01/02/2016 at 12:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (4348)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36331) - you deserved it (2948)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

#21334376
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46728) - you deserved it (3289)

On 01/10/2015 at 8:45am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (2929)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37199) - you deserved it (5877)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44674) - you deserved it (16709)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)



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