Lepisma

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Offline (20 hours ago)

Lepisma

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Austin, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 185
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 18 posted

About Lepisma : Here are some words for you.

Lepisma's page activity

Visits<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:24pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 4:32pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 4:30am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 12:04am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 1:01am<b>Rei_Ayanami</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 6:49pm<b>CelticKing</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:24pm<b>Nexa</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:54am<b>chuka81</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 12:04pm<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:31pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:54pm<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:43pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:19pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:54am<b>GAJones4221</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 6:33pm<b>joco4</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:31am<b>Busco7</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:45pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:18pm

Fucked!<b>Nexa</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:54am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:32am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:24am

Lepisma's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Lepisma's badges

Lepisma's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2016 at 3:25am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I took my 17 year-old dog, who had been my best friend my entire life right from when I was born, to be euthanised. I had booked in advance. The vet ambled in all spritely and cheerfully asked, "Just here for a checkup, aye?" FML

by deaddoggy / 03/02/2016 at 3:46pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Animals

Today, I'm locked in a bedroom with two dogs to keep them from barking at the guy fixing our water heater. One of them is stress-farting. FML

by noooooo / 02/21/2016 at 11:03am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

by oliver / 01/27/2016 at 7:02am / United States / Health

Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML

by lookwhereyasittin / 01/24/2016 at 12:47pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was working replacing a windshield, some jerk off hit my truck. A truck carrying 2 grand in glass. Including the windshield I was about to install. The driver gets out and says, "Sorry man, I had to text my girlfriend." FML

by automotive glass tech / 01/21/2016 at 1:09pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation

Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML

by almostadult / 01/14/2016 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

by coolcat10156 / 07/08/2015 at 3:04am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 8:45am / United States / Love

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

by noxiffic / 10/31/2014 at 8:31am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

by Jasmine / 10/10/2014 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Love