LazyDaze82

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Offline (the 09/28/2015 at 11:45am)

LazyDaze82

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 April 1982 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 468
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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LazyDaze82's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:09pm<b>fangbanger_kitty</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 8:43pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:20am

LazyDaze82's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of LazyDaze82's badges

LazyDaze82's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband bought a new 80-inch TV. Not only can we barely afford it, but it also blocks our doorways no matter where we put it. He refuses to return it. FML

by LCDhell / 11/14/2011 at 12:44am / United States / Money

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

by ThatHurts / 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

by TTR / 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML

by DrakeScott / 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

by miley098 / 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

by CHStennis_4 / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

by KayDayParade / 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm / United States / Money

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 12:34pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

by sad child / 08/27/2011 at 3:45am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 10:08am / United States / Kids