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Laurgasming's favorite FMLs
Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Washington) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm / United States / Health
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love
Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML
by namenlos / 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was messing around in computer class, when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 2:05pm / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by 352 / 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Health
by falafalo / 04/14/2012 at 12:08am / United States / Work
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by kayadd33 / 04/10/2012 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by pmek / 03/26/2012 at 5:11am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…