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Laurgasming

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Laurgasming
  • Town/Country : Gardner, IL, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 887
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Laurgasming's favorite FMLs

Today, I was messing around in computer class, when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML

#19662501
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7103) - you deserved it (19363)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

#19633207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7322) - you deserved it (31191)

On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27499) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18693) - you deserved it (4135)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

#19490563
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15325) - you deserved it (3141)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States

Today, as a medical student working in a hospital, I asked a patient if he had any questions for me or his physician. His only question: whether or not my breasts are real. FML

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51484) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22759) - you deserved it (2423)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7080) - you deserved it (23185)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19358) - you deserved it (1730)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19093) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59670) - you deserved it (2783)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (4592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France



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