Laurgasming

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Laurgasming

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 September 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3104
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Laurgasming's page activity

Visits<b>Red_140</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 10:25pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 8:07pm<b>lectricpharaoh</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:29am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 6:42am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 7:38pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 5:24am<b>fml0505</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:03am<b>NoDontKillMe</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 6:14pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 10:09pm<b>Callilah</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 4:24pm<b>Pikawhore</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:08pm<b>sweatypandalove</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:10am<b>BlitheNightmare</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 2:37am<b>SamKiwi</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 3:43am<b>GothickNihilist</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 2:01am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 9:00am<b>Pwobbles</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 6:06pm<b>kemnet</b> - the 11/25/2012 at 7:16pm

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Laurgasming's favorite FMLs

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:17am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:20am / United States / Kids

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Love

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

by Andrew / 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

by bad samaritan / 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, it was my first day in Paris. I've been saving up for five years. It was a rainy day, but I was determined to go see the Eiffel Tower. On my way, I fell down a slippery set of stairs and knocked both of my front teeth out. Now, I have the view of the Eiffel Tower from my hospital window. FML

by parisklutz / 10/20/2012 at 3:06am / France (Lorraine) / Health

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

by NoorFML / 10/19/2012 at 10:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

by not as scarred as he should be / 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

by satanworshipper / 10/18/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I received another letter of rejection from the university of my dreams. I got it the first time, but thanks for reminding me. FML

by ThreeTimesUnlucky / 10/17/2012 at 2:52pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy