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Laurgasming

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Laurgasming
  • Town/Country : Gardner, IL, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 889
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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Laurgasming's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to a Christian. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18489) - you deserved it (2078)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23730) - you deserved it (7634)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8635) - you deserved it (48856)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (1059)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27220) - you deserved it (4238)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my first day in Paris. I've been saving up for five years. It was a rainy day, but I was determined to go see the Eiffel Tower. On my way, I fell down a slippery set of stairs and knocked both of my front teeth out. Now, I have the view of the Eiffel Tower from my hospital window. FML

#20124910
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24527) - you deserved it (2526)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:06am - health - by parisklutz (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (2618)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23046) - you deserved it (2148)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, I received another letter of rejection from the university of my dreams. I got it the first time, but thanks for reminding me. FML

#20121056
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (1267)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:52pm - misc - by ThreeTimesUnlucky - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21354) - you deserved it (4098)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

#20118123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (2967)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

#20112275
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (2000)

On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71955) - you deserved it (8401)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML



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