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Laurgasming's favorite FMLs
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
by singleandthankful / 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Love
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
by youmindyourownbusiness / 02/15/2013 at 12:53am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
by LagSwitchFTW / 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Health
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by whateven / 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Emily / 01/03/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML
by single once again / 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Love
by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…