Laurgasming

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Laurgasming

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 September 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3099
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Laurgasming's page activity

Visits<b>Red_140</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 10:25pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 8:07pm<b>lectricpharaoh</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:29am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 6:42am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 7:38pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 5:24am<b>fml0505</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:03am<b>NoDontKillMe</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 6:14pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 10:09pm<b>Callilah</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 4:24pm<b>Pikawhore</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:08pm<b>sweatypandalove</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:10am<b>BlitheNightmare</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 2:37am<b>SamKiwi</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 3:43am<b>GothickNihilist</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 2:01am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 9:00am<b>Pwobbles</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 6:06pm<b>kemnet</b> - the 11/25/2012 at 7:16pm

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Laurgasming's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

by he's a dawk, and a cunt / 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2013 at 3:24am / United States / Work

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude / 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

by loving wife / 04/21/2013 at 6:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

by KatiRozz1 / 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm / United Kingdom (Middlesbrough) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids