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Laurgasming

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Laurgasming
  • Town/Country : Gardner, IL, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 894
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Laurgasming's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66708) - you deserved it (3792)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

#20719423
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45105) - you deserved it (5924)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48343) - you deserved it (57925)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43412) - you deserved it (4015)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (14332)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72325) - you deserved it (3137)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

#20609608
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73909) - you deserved it (6748)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53672) - you deserved it (4549)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48462) - you deserved it (7993)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57503) - you deserved it (19403)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41291) - you deserved it (5013)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (4040)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

#20507668
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31220) - you deserved it (3440)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)



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