Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Laurgasming

Search for a member

Laurgasming

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 September 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1262
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Laurgasming's page activity

Visits<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 8:07pm<b>lectricpharaoh</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:29am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 6:42am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 7:38pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 5:24am<b>fml0505</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:03am<b>NoDontKillMe</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 6:14pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 10:09pm<b>Callilah</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 4:24pm<b>Pikawhore</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:08pm<b>sweatypandalove</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:10am<b>BlitheNightmare</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 2:37am<b>SamKiwi</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 3:43am<b>GothickNihilist</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 2:01am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 9:00am<b>Pwobbles</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 6:06pm<b>kemnet</b> - the 11/25/2012 at 7:16pm<b>allmidnighteyes</b> - the 11/25/2010 at 4:59pm

Laurgasming's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Laurgasming's badges

Laurgasming's favorite FMLs

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML

#20949058
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40089) - you deserved it (7759)

On 11/07/2013 at 1:42pm - misc - by pissedandcomputerless (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML

#20921778
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49156) - you deserved it (3612)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (2616)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39089) - you deserved it (6683)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53747) - you deserved it (3366)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60425) - you deserved it (5943)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49813) - you deserved it (3674)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56078) - you deserved it (9306)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64779) - you deserved it (6572)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

#20765683
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42488) - you deserved it (7130)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm - misc - by he's a dawk, and a cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42212) - you deserved it (2885)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78042) - you deserved it (7082)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53425) - you deserved it (7860)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: