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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (12902)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68663) - you deserved it (3075)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60508) - you deserved it (5641)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48573) - you deserved it (3778)
On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35501) - you deserved it (14920)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by KatiRozz1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Middlesbrough)
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43834) - you deserved it (7041)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54516) - you deserved it (9166)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38779) - you deserved it (4148)
On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (3164)
On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27504) - you deserved it (3131)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43431) - you deserved it (2640)
On 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by excusemeprincess (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21388) - you deserved it (7523) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/31/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by heallven - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (29894)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (3976)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (24945)
On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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