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LadyGore's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML
by TooTallNiCo / 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by pigglepigglepiggle / 11/23/2009 at 9:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
by crazylobster / 11/14/2009 at 11:52am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
by Anathema_360 / 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML
by jcooh0lla / 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came to pick me up. Once I got into his car, my uncle comes out of the house and yells "Remember, pregnant girls aren't allowed to drink." FML
by Prego my ego / 07/23/2009 at 1:39pm / Miscellaneous
by paddy / 07/14/2009 at 8:23am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/11/2009 at 9:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML
by KBO / 06/08/2009 at 2:54am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
by rain / 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love
by Jenny / 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy