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Kruiser

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Kruiser
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 645
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kruiser's last visitors

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Kruiser's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Kruiser's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48079) - you deserved it (3516)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (20148)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

#20615900
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (38240)

On 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm - work - by hatemyjob (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

#20615694
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65929) - you deserved it (8672)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

#20612321
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39984) - you deserved it (6433)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44287) - you deserved it (5264)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (7482)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (1712)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23059) - you deserved it (5741)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (2270)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (3124)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (10583)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (3387)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36406) - you deserved it (3526)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States



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