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Kruiser's favorite FMLs
by lavenderpiss / 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by justin / 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by UnfortunatelyAmusing / 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML
by calobrisi / 10/15/2013 at 3:34pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by WTF / 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 10:16am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Neanderthals walk among us / 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Work
by confused_girl / 08/01/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
by ktiskool / 08/01/2013 at 12:03am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML
by faitoh / 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Lisburn) / Transportation
by random / 05/13/2013 at 11:06am / United States / Animals
Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML
by hatemyjob / 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Work
by Soundofaboner / 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML
by 'creep' / 04/22/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…