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Kruiser's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    56%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    19%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    64%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    83%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    86%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Kruiser's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

By um... maybe - / Tuesday 12 March 2013 22:43 / United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 19 November 2014 17:40 / Canada - Windsor

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 25 October 2014 00:30 / Australia - Perth

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

By anonymous / Friday 24 October 2014 01:25 / United States - West Babylon

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

By WasntWorthIt / Wednesday 30 July 2014 17:04 / United States - Concord