Kruiser

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Offline (the 01/07/2015 at 8:49am)

Kruiser

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1801
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kruiser's page activity

Visits<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 12:11am<b>IAm123</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:37pm<b>amyfann</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:48am<b>cwenboo</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:45am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 12:50pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:26am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 4:24pm<b>ElmoSaysSquishy</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 6:09am<b>Domdom96</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 4:50am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 8:04am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:27am<b>iG_08</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 4:06am<b>854alice</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:49am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:42pm<b>anonisfab</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:49am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:44pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:17pm

Kruiser's FML badges

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Kruiser's favorite FMLs

Today, I was complimented on my freckles. I don't actually have freckles, just a load of blackheads that won't go away. FML

by eamiller / 12/23/2014 at 3:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

by anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

by WasntWorthIt / 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

by MaddyN / 07/08/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I'm 5 weeks pregnant and just found out that my boyfriend has such a phobia of holding babies, that he's going to be the one most in need of a diaper change when I give birth. FML

Today, at my all-night senior party, I was talking to the blind girl who I haven't had classes with since 9th grade. I unthinkingly opened the conversation with "Nice to see you again." FML

by It'd be nice to see you too. / 06/08/2014 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

by her mom raised her / 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm / Mexico / Kids

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

by Punphmelch / 03/26/2014 at 4:45am / Australia (South Australia) / Animals

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

by Coryj1220 / 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, upon being asked to name all the planets, I had to sing along to a Lady Gaga song in my head to remember them. FML

by Venus / 03/13/2014 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

by the customer is always a cunt / 12/20/2013 at 4:48pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

by sammers27 / 12/19/2013 at 8:48am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

by confsused / 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous