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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52518) - you deserved it (9106)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59641) - you deserved it (5741)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (5121)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24609) - you deserved it (10437)
On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (2392)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20231) - you deserved it (2407)
On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (7098)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7616) - you deserved it (28309)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22390) - you deserved it (1380)
On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19110) - you deserved it (8242)
On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)
Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36253) - you deserved it (5824)
On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25076) - you deserved it (7191)
On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51034) - you deserved it (11674)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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