Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Koloth

Search for a member

Koloth

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1212
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Koloth's page activity

Visits<b>milob92</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 7:27pm

Koloth's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Koloth's badges

Koloth's favorite FMLs

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12237) - you deserved it (27299)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29072) - you deserved it (9270)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (2435)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML

#19149317
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6629) - you deserved it (37185)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by thisguy - Canada

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27987) - you deserved it (2772)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (4105)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML

#19109811
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26012) - you deserved it (17461)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Lilah - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23529) - you deserved it (4472)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML

#19042625
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8375) - you deserved it (24753)

On 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20588) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

#19001637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (5822)

On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

#18992832
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30398) - you deserved it (5224)

On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I argued with my girlfriend over her constantly wasting our money on acupuncture. She said if I could prove it was baloney, she would stop. After I showed her copious amounts of scientific proof debunking it as pseudo-science, she told me we're "taking a break" from our relationship. FML

#18987480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23425) - you deserved it (10516)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

#18980797
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37339) - you deserved it (2225)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30825) - you deserved it (4965)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: