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Kng21

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Kng21

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  • Number of visits : 257
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Kng21's favorite FMLs

Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML

#20130128
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (4275)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Pokemon problems - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (4456)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14891) - you deserved it (10126)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (6499)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (6499)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24011) - you deserved it (1746)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (3320)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25668) - you deserved it (9148)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

#20116821
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (1606)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23946) - you deserved it (5648)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

#20114046
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (1398)

On 10/12/2012 at 8:18pm - misc - by atleastshelldiefirst (man) - United States

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23333) - you deserved it (2185)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I completely shaved my head as a gesture for my boyfriend's mother, who was suffering from cancer and having a terrible time undergoing chemotherapy. Turns out she doesn't even have cancer, and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't have the guts to do it. FML

#20110360
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32491) - you deserved it (4784)

On 10/10/2012 at 11:05am - misc - by horriblejoke (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26443) - you deserved it (3067)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)



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