Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kirito_Kazuto

Search for a member

Kirito_Kazuto

63Fucked!

Kirito_KazutoKirito_Kazuto
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 31655
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Kirito_Kazuto : Eyy' dere~ before I waste any of your valuable time with this long paragraph of a bio that you are currently reading; I want you to know that I'm nothing more than simply an exceedingly below-average, weird, & boring guy who's a kid at heart" (To those who are curious & are currently further reading this at the moment; at first when you see me, I may seem incredibly shy, but if you ever get the chance to really know me, then you're in for a butt-surprise) x3 Please, don't be shy & just message me if you want to chat &/or would like to learn more about my awkwardness ~( • P• )~ By the way, I'm a Christian, straight, I wear prescription glasses & I also have terrible eye bags/dark circles under my eyes. I used to be an outgoing person, but now I just stay home x; I also love playing video games, watching Anime & I'm proud of it~ "YEEE~!" *~High-fives ownself~* 83 "Don't hate or else your presence isn't welcome here."*~Opens the front-door & points outside~* "There's the exit." o/

Kirito_Kazuto's page activity

Visits<b>dbaby115</b> - yesterday at 4:24pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:14pm<b>ninjakitty254</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 4:33pm<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:58pm<b>littlepiglola</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:25am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 6:38am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:30am<b>apineapple</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:54am<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:05pm<b>Miizuo</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:54am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:45am<b>texelf</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:37pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:11pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:50pm<b>justcause001</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:25am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:35am<b>williche002</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:53am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:36am

Fucked!<b>williche002</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:56am<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 8:54am<b>luridz</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:53am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:25am<b>rainbow_llamas</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:21am<b>jessieluvxo</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:47pm<b>justcause001</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:33pm<b>littlepiglola</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:30am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 2:30pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:39am<b>IvyRizzzzoli</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:53am<b>amine91</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:49pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:45pm<b>SilentSilver001</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:15am<b>fallenkilljoy</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 8:12am<b>ejs9576349</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:02am<b>meganmax</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:59pm

Kirito_Kazuto's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of Kirito_Kazuto's badges

Kirito_Kazuto's favorite FMLs

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

#21432636
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21459) - you deserved it (1484)

On 06/27/2015 at 1:48am - work - by *cough* *cough* you're a dickface (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25583) - you deserved it (3503)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33837) - you deserved it (2083)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

#21431146
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (1555)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by zaynemaliksvagina (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28612) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26718) - you deserved it (2358)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (4736)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (6944)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML

#21423092
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (2181)

On 06/08/2015 at 11:04pm - love - by Not Gay - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at my place of work in a fast-food restaurant, a customer called in and bitched at me that her warm food was weirdly cold. That is, after she drove 45 minutes from the restaurant to her house. FML

#21423053
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24335) - you deserved it (1398)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:47pm - work - by frustratedandunderpaid - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (1998)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was choking on a popcorn kernel at the movie theater. Nobody helped me. The workers in there told me to leave because I was "disrupting the audience". FML

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

#21420106
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/03/2015 at 6:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

#21418593
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (3439)

On 05/31/2015 at 2:21pm - misc - by fffemaleee - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: