Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kinney97

Search for a member

Kinney97

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 706
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Kinney97 : I hate to be lazy and bored, kinda where this site comes in when i have nothing to do...i love motocross and snowboarding. im really funny and nice...if ya want message me, love meeting new people.

Kinney97's page activity

Visits<b>wakaaflocka</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 11:16pm<b>Bexxterz</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 4:15pm<b>BountyBass</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 4:48am<b>e077</b> - the 10/24/2012 at 4:23pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 09/07/2012 at 9:42am<b>inlove72</b> - the 03/04/2012 at 12:34pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/26/2012 at 10:32pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 02/03/2012 at 10:37pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 02/01/2012 at 12:58am<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 01/14/2012 at 6:35pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 01/12/2012 at 2:56pm<b>J_Camille</b> - the 01/09/2012 at 3:05pm<b>brick_man33</b> - the 01/08/2012 at 11:09pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 01/07/2012 at 12:45am<b>julia_lynn</b> - the 01/03/2012 at 8:39pm<b>rachaelheartsNY</b> - the 01/02/2012 at 11:21pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 01/02/2012 at 3:28pm<b>afulks78</b> - the 01/01/2012 at 7:22pm

Kinney97's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Kinney97's badges

Kinney97's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9722) - you deserved it (74002)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (6176)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (3310)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (3688)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

#18752825
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (7047)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - intimacy - by LaLa - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49261) - you deserved it (46281)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26921) - you deserved it (14004)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

#18660623
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (5411)

On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28419) - you deserved it (5013)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

#18642967
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26110) - you deserved it (2624)

On 12/29/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by dontpeeonmenxtime (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

#18641701
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30738) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/29/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Grossed Out (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

#18633962
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29655) - you deserved it (21247)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25376) - you deserved it (3841)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

#18599933
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44202) - you deserved it (5649)

On 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

#18579267
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (7174)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lalala - United Kingdom (Croydon)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: