Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kinkykim99

Search for a member

Kinkykim99
  • Town/Country : Staffordshire, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 626
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Kinkykim99 : If you can't find me on the stage then I'm asleep...

Actress/Musical Theatre Performer/Recording Artist
DM me for details..

Twitter: kim__waldron (two under
scrolls

Kinkykim99's last visitors

Srepliomeriummangoboy1az1992TrollxCrystal_Nicolejellenwoodgrogers311jonsmith01973k_gilsthrAsHeRr9081

Kinkykim99's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Kinkykim99's badges

Kinkykim99's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (6275)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year old daughter. FML

#8680556
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6080) - you deserved it (30760)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Shoe (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

#8606978
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8388) - you deserved it (21365)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by kiki (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22440) - you deserved it (11990)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34107) - you deserved it (2646)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17001) - you deserved it (2650)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML

#7470356
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51998) - you deserved it (2278)

On 01/21/2010 at 6:41am - health - by Dude (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (2532)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, one of my managers at work asked me to carrying our new Frappe machine to front counter for assembling. Being 5 months pregnant, I explained to her I am unable to safely lift more than 20-30lbs. I was then fired and told that I shouldn't use being pregnant as an excuse to not work. FML

#7178040
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40861) - you deserved it (3878)

On 01/06/2010 at 6:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (4910)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML

#6804648
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17641) - you deserved it (7089)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by WhoaThere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

#6389255
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39515) - you deserved it (3187)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9051) - you deserved it (67080)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, mum woke me up before seven in the morning on a Saturday so I could open my birthday gifts. I'm an insomniac and I had just fallen asleep. I wasn't even awake yet and she yelled at me to be more enthusiastic. FML

#6084387
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (3341)

On 10/31/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Morgannaken (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

#6043300
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10272) - you deserved it (42981)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: