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Kinkykim99

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Kinkykim99
  • Town/Country : Staffordshire, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 654
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Kinkykim99 : If you can't find me on the stage then I'm asleep...

Actress/Musical Theatre Performer/Recording Artist
DM me for details..

Twitter: kim__waldron (two under
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Kinkykim99's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23133) - you deserved it (6429)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

#20100511
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23007) - you deserved it (1160)

On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

#20091999
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15892) - you deserved it (5405)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42409) - you deserved it (6145)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36594) - you deserved it (2085)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21727) - you deserved it (2122)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML

#19856558
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23736) - you deserved it (4532)

On 06/27/2012 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7167) - you deserved it (23195)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24139) - you deserved it (2720)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (5501)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

#19470804
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30414) - you deserved it (11873)

On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17334) - you deserved it (1626)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed. His reason? A Las Vegas wedding came up on Groupon. FML

#19367964
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (2477)

On 03/29/2012 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (133707)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (5418)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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