About Killer_fel : I'm somewhat weird. I live in Quebec, Canada. I use the app, so message me if you dare! I fluently speak Français.
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Killer_fel's favorite FMLs
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids
by annoyed / 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML
by burn in hell / 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
by Anonymous / 09/24/2012 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML
by creepedasfuck / 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by hopelesscollegestudent / 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by scarred for life / 09/21/2012 at 6:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my teacher told me that she couldn't find my hand-written essay on the Renaissance, and that I have to re-do it all by tomorrow. I later saw my essay on her desk, covered in a massive coffee stain that made virtually everything unreadable. FML
by Anonymous / 09/17/2012 at 12:05pm / France / Work
Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML
by bruisedego31 / 09/12/2012 at 5:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (California) / Work
by gemma / 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy
Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML
by Stevski / 09/11/2012 at 11:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 9:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very…