About Keep_It_Hot99 : Okay, where to start...Well I'm 14, very violent (but oddly enough I'm a pacifist O_o), I can be one of the biggest bitches you'll ever meet (but I'm 102% against bullying! Be a bitch with reason, not for amusement or power!), I don't like bullshit(like, it makes me want to hire a random guy, from some random place, in a not as random country,to beat the living shit out of you), the phrase ''LOL" also makes me want to hire people to beat the shit out of you! I typically cut off all contact from the offender when the dumbass phrase pops up. (after chucking multiple rocks at their face... or rehiring the previous people to do it for me, what can I say? I'm lazy? Blame my stupidly annoying generation) No, but seriously. It annoys me. And if you're still reading this odd and compulsively contradicting blurb, I applaud your dedication to stalking me!Oh yeah, and I'm obviously so awesome that your socks couldn't stand me and were therefore, knocked off. I'm done now!*walks away proudly*
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Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (4036)
On 03/24/2013 at 11:56am - kids - by Gixie (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)
Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (14300)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ohfuckwaffles (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17345) - you deserved it (1095)
On 08/22/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by XYZee - United States (Georgia)
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (1457)
On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16395) - you deserved it (2723)
On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17151) - you deserved it (1201)
On 08/03/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by Lara (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (22003)
On 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7480) - you deserved it (20232)
On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16886) - you deserved it (1490)
On 07/27/2012 at 5:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19196) - you deserved it (1510)
Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4684) - you deserved it (45971)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24592) - you deserved it (1688)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (1372)
On 07/14/2012 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (2381)
On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16720) - you deserved it (4580)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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