Keep_It_Hot99

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Keep_It_Hot99

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1467
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Keep_It_Hot99 : Okay, where to start...Well I'm young, very violent (but oddly enough I'm a pacifist O_o), I can be one of the biggest bitches you'll ever meet (but I'm 102% against bullying! Be a bitch with reason, not for amusement or power!), I don't like bullshit(like, it makes me want to hire a random guy, from some random place, in a not as random country,to beat the living shit out of you), the phrase ''LOL" also makes me want to hire people to beat the shit out of you! I typically cut off all contact from the offender when the dumbass phrase pops up. (after chucking multiple rocks at their face... or rehiring the previous people to do it for me, what can I say? I'm lazy? Blame my stupidly annoying generation) No, but seriously. It annoys me. And if you're still reading this odd and compulsively contradicting blurb, I applaud your dedication to stalking me!Oh yeah, and I'm obviously so awesome that your socks couldn't stand me and were therefore, knocked off. I'm done now!*walks away proudly*

Keep_It_Hot99's page activity

Visits<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:30am<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:53pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:18am<b>doglover100</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 12:26pm<b>LostKezia</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:09am<b>mind_geek</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 10:04am<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 12:51pm<b>FML64128</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 6:30pm<b>forchane</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:29am<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 2:01am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 1:37pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:39pm<b>Nohman</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 1:46am<b>anders09ma</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 11:42pm<b>azk3000</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 1:53am

Fucked!<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 11:31am

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Keep_It_Hot99's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

by Gixie / 03/24/2013 at 11:56am / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

by XYZee / 08/22/2012 at 4:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

by ice cream dude / 08/10/2012 at 9:58am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML

by Lara / 08/03/2012 at 7:28am / Italy (Toscana) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Health

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

by daydreamer / 07/29/2012 at 1:12am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 5:25am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 6:42am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health