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KatieHoof345

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KatieHoof345
  • Town/Country : :
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2260
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About KatieHoof345 : Hey, I'm Katie(: The shit you hear about me may be true, but it could be as fake as the bitch who told you

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Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50959) - you deserved it (5171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

#18417411
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (5646)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37668) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33463) - you deserved it (7311)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51189) - you deserved it (2816)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

#18400487
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23789) - you deserved it (3053)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (3488)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

#18392410
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (4343)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

#18374198
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45242) - you deserved it (3478)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (8367)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

#18369717
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (1524)

On 11/27/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by wow - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (2287)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML

#18364181
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23566) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:19am - health - by smellyhouse (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML

#18363799
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28911) - you deserved it (6025)

On 11/27/2011 at 3:58am - love - by good citizen - United States

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29011) - you deserved it (9285)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)



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