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Katie1749

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Katie1749

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 577
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Katie1749's page activity

Visits<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:12am<b>unfortunatewsy</b> - the 09/18/2012 at 2:26am

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Katie1749's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56971) - you deserved it (9863)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49784) - you deserved it (4694)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79588) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29826) - you deserved it (3241)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27683) - you deserved it (6315)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43987) - you deserved it (6710)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (10337)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42977) - you deserved it (9378)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34552) - you deserved it (6690)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28780) - you deserved it (6284)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (2603)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (5752)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (2604)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (5171)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29258) - you deserved it (6011)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)



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