About KamiGekido : I won't say I'm unlike most girls, because I could take the lot of you, throw you in a blender and empty out your contents into a human shape mold and receive something with many of the same traits as me. Fun stuff, eh?
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KamiGekido's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by latino14 / 06/15/2012 at 7:27am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by sickness_sucks / 06/15/2012 at 2:19am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
by Rebecca / 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
by eww / 06/13/2012 at 2:13am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
by idontgetit / 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 7:58am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
by ILoveAnimals / 06/11/2012 at 3:14am / Austria (Wien) / Animals
Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML
by fordneagles / 06/11/2012 at 1:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by fernie vazquez / 06/10/2012 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…