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Kalehishadino's FML badges
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Kalehishadino's favorite FMLs
Today, I was trying to get to my boyfriend via public transport in Thailand. He was giving the driver instructions through my phone when my phone went flat. I am now alone in the passenger seat of a car, next to a creepy old driver, no idea where he is taking me, and I don't speak a word of Thai. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 12:05am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Transportation
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML
by reesemaster / 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by single / 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by ktwithaq / 10/18/2010 at 7:27am / United States (Florida) / Work
by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
by buttpicker / 04/19/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Animals
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML
by Loser / 03/17/2010 at 12:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by AwwChute / 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML
by cowgurl91 / 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm / Love
Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML
by NickC / 11/28/2009 at 7:40pm / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML
by shitballs_911 / 10/07/2009 at 7:13am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML
by hantavirus / 08/26/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 12:01am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
by malebonding / 08/17/2009 at 9:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I pooped my pants at work. I have the flu and should have stayed home but my boss said if I… Yesterday was my girlfriends birthday my gift to her was a promise ring and some roses . In return… Today, I tried to wake up my boyfriend for morning sex with a Blowjob, he woke up looked at me said…