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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
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Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37526) - you deserved it (10099)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11187) - you deserved it (15999)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm - animals - by AliRocks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14123) - you deserved it (2582)
On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18459) - you deserved it (2575)
On 02/15/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by Ugh (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9154) - you deserved it (27368)
On 02/15/2011 at 10:30am - love - by Dj sMoZ! -
Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw I got a "Happy Birthday" from the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23862) - you deserved it (4976)
On 02/15/2011 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (3352)
On 02/15/2011 at 5:21am - misc - by nakcba -
Today, whilst nibbling on my husband's ear, I swallowed a lump of his earwax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30616) - you deserved it (15825)
On 02/15/2011 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Emily Salt -
Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7188) - you deserved it (43413)
On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6725) - you deserved it (22781)
On 02/15/2011 at 1:25am - misc - by a fatty -
Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20748) - you deserved it (3184)
On 02/15/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (1782)
On 02/15/2011 at 12:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (2605)
On 02/14/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by moe (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (2935)
On 02/14/2011 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by bleu_noir (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night... It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (4878)
On 02/14/2011 at 3:25pm - love - by Emily (woman) - France (Auvergne)
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