Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jovecove

Search for a member

Jovecove

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2822
  • Number of comments : 257
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jovecove : Johardwood

I'm really nice. :)

People should setup a profile so that I can enjoy creeping more. ;)

Twitter: @Jovistar69

Jovecove's page activity

Visits<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:33pm<b>octeight</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:09pm<b>blcusername</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:44pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:44am<b>cats400</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:43pm<b>snazman12</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:34am<b>cstathooles</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:15am<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 11:21am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 4:57pm<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 4:24pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 11:22pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 4:42am<b>PlayLeagueAllDay</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 8:16pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 8:40pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 7:25pm<b>spaced94</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 1:50am<b>Somefruits</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:53am<b>thomashood</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 9:20pm

Jovecove's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Jovecove's badges

Jovecove's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#18489765
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (3696)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

#18488373
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend forced me to climb out through his window, because he was too embarrassed at the thought of his room-mate finding out I'd spent the night. FML

#18478805
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28783) - you deserved it (4893)

On 12/10/2011 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by FML - United States

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

#18471784
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (14647)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

#18467127
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27259) - you deserved it (2198)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7951) - you deserved it (71812)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12996) - you deserved it (41236)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29225) - you deserved it (3028)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35223) - you deserved it (6631)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35223) - you deserved it (6631)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27779) - you deserved it (3521)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

#18445536
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (2763)

On 12/06/2011 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
98 comments

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9898) - you deserved it (67239)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41054) - you deserved it (16595)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: