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Johnnysalz

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Johnnysalz
  • Town/Country : Fairbanks, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 908
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Johnnysalz's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

#19297071
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19884) - you deserved it (1664)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm - misc - by vanorav (man) - United States (California)

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

#19295579
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you deserved it (1517)

On 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by CutePenguin (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

#19293658
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15364) - you deserved it (2724)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

#19292961
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23393) - you deserved it (3599)

On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (12870)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

#19287626
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38423) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/16/2012 at 6:38am - love - by elisabeth_pwnes - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

#19286997
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8379) - you deserved it (18169)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

#19283430
192 comments

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (5516) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6948) - you deserved it (30718)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (17378)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

#19276070
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (13677)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

#19269481
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24396) - you deserved it (2028)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

#19269452
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31305) - you deserved it (1450)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Rynne S. - United States (Colorado)

Today, I still have the bronchitis and the stomach flu that I suffered through all weekend. Today was to be the day I had my bachelorette party and wedding shower. I had to call both of them off. FML

#19264190
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (1867)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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