Johnnysalz

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Johnnysalz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2411
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Johnnysalz's page activity

Visits<b>cntrygl83</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:57pm<b>artiststatement</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:31am<b>rcgirl2</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:55pm<b>poppadoppalis</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 11:40pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 7:06pm<b>film_addict1129</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 7:24am<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 4:33pm<b>sofitina</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 10:39pm<b>kawaiisakura</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 11:32pm<b>high_tower87</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 11:28am<b>Pilotchick</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:46am<b>wildsweetchild</b> - the 04/10/2012 at 10:51pm<b>SultanRS</b> - the 03/30/2012 at 11:40am<b>lmc94</b> - the 03/26/2012 at 8:54pm<b>BIGASSTITS</b> - the 03/14/2012 at 8:02pm

Johnnysalz's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Johnnysalz's badges

Johnnysalz's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

by vanorav / 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

by CutePenguin / 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

by babysheets / 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm / Uruguay (Montevideo) / Love

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

by dhbeaver / 03/17/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

by elisabeth_pwnes / 03/16/2012 at 6:38am / Norway (Vestfold) / Love

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 2:02am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

by Sica / 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm / France / Health

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 2:21am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

by Rynne S. / 03/13/2012 at 2:12am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I still have the bronchitis and the stomach flu that I suffered through all weekend. Today was to be the day I had my bachelorette party and wedding shower. I had to call both of them off. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Health