Johnnysalz

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Johnnysalz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2786
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Johnnysalz's page activity

Visits<b>cntrygl83</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:57pm<b>artiststatement</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:31am<b>rcgirl2</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:55pm<b>poppadoppalis</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 11:40pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 7:06pm<b>film_addict1129</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 7:24am<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 4:33pm<b>sofitina</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 10:39pm<b>kawaiisakura</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 11:32pm<b>high_tower87</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 11:28am<b>Pilotchick</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:46am<b>wildsweetchild</b> - the 04/10/2012 at 10:51pm<b>SultanRS</b> - the 03/30/2012 at 11:40am<b>lmc94</b> - the 03/26/2012 at 8:54pm<b>BIGASSTITS</b> - the 03/14/2012 at 8:02pm

Johnnysalz's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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Johnnysalz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

by Chey / 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

by Hannah / 03/22/2012 at 1:21pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He only did so after I'd vacuumed the whole house to compensate for his cat allergies. I thought he was just coming to dinner. FML

by Ima in Hungary / 03/22/2012 at 8:06am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my company announced a new name. They also announced new coffee mugs with the name on them. They've not announced raises in over 3 years. FML

by glens / 03/22/2012 at 2:17am / United States / Work

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 1:13am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

by Alyssa / 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, since I was grounded, I tried to sneak out of my room to attend a party by climbing out the second-storey window and down the tree. I was unharmed, but I probably should have checked to see if my dad was in the garden before climbing down. FML

by treehugger / 03/20/2012 at 5:47am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

by PatientInWaiting / 03/19/2012 at 6:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

by FoodyFood / 03/19/2012 at 12:59am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML

by liver / 03/18/2012 at 8:51pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

by waitwhat / 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

by jamboooy / 03/18/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.