Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Johnnysalz

Search for a member

Johnnysalz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1230
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Johnnysalz's page activity

Visits<b>artiststatement</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:31am<b>rcgirl2</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:55pm<b>poppadoppalis</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 11:40pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 7:06pm<b>film_addict1129</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 7:24am<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 4:33pm<b>sofitina</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 10:39pm<b>kawaiisakura</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 11:32pm<b>high_tower87</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 11:28am<b>Pilotchick</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:46am<b>wildsweetchild</b> - the 04/10/2012 at 10:51pm<b>SultanRS</b> - the 03/30/2012 at 11:40am<b>moksha</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 6:12am<b>lmc94</b> - the 03/26/2012 at 8:54pm<b>BIGASSTITS</b> - the 03/14/2012 at 8:02pm

Johnnysalz's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Johnnysalz's badges

Johnnysalz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20928) - you deserved it (2852)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

#19326437
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20184) - you deserved it (9487)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:21pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He only did so after I'd vacuumed the whole house to compensate for his cat allergies. I thought he was just coming to dinner. FML

#19325462
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21550) - you deserved it (2171)

On 03/22/2012 at 8:06am - love - by Ima in Hungary (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my company announced a new name. They also announced new coffee mugs with the name on them. They've not announced raises in over 3 years. FML

#19324778
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18314) - you deserved it (1862)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:17am - work - by glens - United States

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27504) - you deserved it (3577)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9966) - you deserved it (61310)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

#19316785
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (4477)

On 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm - money - by Alyssa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, since I was grounded, I tried to sneak out of my room to attend a party by climbing out the second-storey window and down the tree. I was unharmed, but I probably should have checked to see if my dad was in the garden before climbing down. FML

#19312594
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6444) - you deserved it (42915)

On 03/20/2012 at 5:47am - misc - by treehugger - Singapore

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

#19307115
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7925) - you deserved it (42108)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

#19306262
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (2050)

On 03/19/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by PatientInWaiting (woman) - United States

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18245) - you deserved it (12712)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML

#19303310
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (3039)

On 03/18/2012 at 8:51pm - money - by liver (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

#19301849
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10317) - you deserved it (53695)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm - misc - by waitwhat (man) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

#19299263
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7974) - you deserved it (41222)

On 03/18/2012 at 7:41am - love - by Austin Franklin - United States

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: